Dare More, Be More

It was the final Strategy class during preterm session at Stanford. After discussing corporate strategies of several successful world class companies, Prof. Leslie took the last few moments to express his views on the strategy of life. He encouraged us all to “Be Bold” in our career and in life. His advice made me reflect on my personal life and the lives of men and women that dared to be bold.

Boldness is the attitude that makes the difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. With my personal experience as a typical middleclass boy (if you know what I mean) from a suburban town in India, I can relate to the feelings what it means to be playing safe in life. I always preferred to sit in the last row at school – my perceived zone of safety in that environment. I always chose not to ask questions in any open forum lest my ignorance gets exposed to the crowd. By suppressing the dumb question in my mind, I might have looked intelligent (?) in that moment, but I also chose to remain ignorant forever, as they say in a Chinese proverb. I do not know whether it was my wrong understanding of the meaning of failure or the fear of looking different from the crowd that made me defensive in my approach to life. My tendency to seek approval from people around me in my thoughts and actions in order to send across a message “I belong” made me live somebody else’s life. At some point, I even convinced myself, I should actually be the person others want me to be. I believed that to be the recipe of maximizing social acceptance. Well, after a couple of grey hairs I realized nobody really cares. But I know I am not the only one leading somebody else’s life.

Later in my life, when I travelled abroad, I was particularly impressed with people that took themselves less seriously and tried new things, constantly. Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. The bold approach to life does not let one bogged down with unwarranted feelings of fear while trying new things. People who make things break a lot more things. Making things is a journey and breaking is a path to reach there. One of my friends from China read a book on mountaineering, bought a few travel aids and started his journey – alone. On the way he met somebody who turned out to be a professional mountaineer. They became friends and my friend learned mountaineering from him.

When I went to Israel for a business trip, I was curious to notice every building in the city had an underground basement. My sales colleague explained that is where the residents take shelter during bombings. He also told me that if there is a bombing in the morning the coffee shop across the street is open no later than 5 P.M in the evening, the same day. The good moments in life are too short to be missed due to fear of past or future bad moments!

Recently, I chose to give myself a lot more freedom to be just me and do what I think is the right thing to do to express my truest self. And, “I am loving it”.

Yes, life is short and the biggest risk of life is probably taking none. One man I know who made the most from his short but meaningful life made sure he always did three simple things everyday- something funny, something generous and something risky.

Being bold is a culture that shapes the culture of society, organization and nation. The culture of an organization is the extension the personality of the leader. When a risk averse leader leads an organization, the strategy for the company is generally to follow and not to lead. It is no wonder that top business schools focus so much on the diversity or breadth of experience of candidates in the admission process. People, dare more, do more and are bound to be more.

I was babysitting my two year old son, Priyam the other day, and I counted in two hours I told him 43 “Don’t”s and 13 “NO”s. Next day, I came up with a radically different kid management strategy. I allowed my son to break a few things, at the risk of a verbal duel with my wife. But I dared to take a chance. My son had a “home alone feeling” under the supervision of the new and improved dad.

But the short term consequence was not an enjoyable experience for me.Total empowerment of a two year old was not perceived as a great idea. I failed to convince my wife my long term vision and the concept of innovative parenting. But I felt good (I know she follows my blog), that it was my honest attempt to do my bit to make the next generation of kids bolder so that they lead a richer life with a more diverse set of experiences.

When my son grows up, I will probably offer give him just one advice which I learned from my marketing professor Michaela at Stanford – “Go Big, or Go Home”. I hope he makes a lot more things than he broke the other day in future and prove his dad right-for once!

In search of a brighter world

Ujjwal and I met at the entrance of the corridor at NITIE- our MBA alma mater. Both of us arrived a day before our first day at school. It was a rainy gloomy monsoon morning in Mumbai. Ujjwal was a tall, thin, bespectacled man, with a hard-to-miss smiling, innocent face. His traditional kurta and a pair of sandals gave away his Bengali origin. He asked me for direction to the student hostel. Ironically, five years later, as the executive director of an NGO , Ujjwal is currently providing directions to thousands of less privileged children in their pursuit for a brighter future.

Ujjwal led a quiet life at college. At B-school, it was important for most of us to hold official positions of responsibilities in various school committees. These titles looked good in resumes and were perceived as proofs of our leadership skills by the prospective employers. Ujjwal was officially responsible for “nothing”. However, he was involved in all class events and always gave his best for all team events- silently. He was however a member of the rotary club and organized vaccination camps and blood donation camps for the entire school community.

After graduation, Ujjwal joined TCS, one of the top services companies in India. His father had retired by then and Ujjwal had to bear responsibility for his family. But deep inside Ujjwal did not want to join the IT bandwagon. His passion was to create direct impact in the lives of ordinary people. He realized that his IT career would take him away from the real world. Moreover, Ujjwal did not feel the career urge for an overseas career like many of his friends and colleagues. Immigration stamps in the passport are still viewed as proofs of career success in India. To Ujjwal, “West Coast” meant Mumbai and he decided to choose Mumbai as his workplace. After a three year stint, he quit TCS and joined an NGO that teaches street children, as a human resource manager.

Many of us “hope” to give it back to the society when we are either tired or retired. Ujjwal made this decision when he was 24. That speaks volume about the honesty of his desire to serve his personal mission in life. However, Ujjwal soon realized, he needs a bigger platform to create a substantial impact. And life offered him an interesting opportunity!

In 2008, “Times of India”, the most popular media publication in the country came out with a nationwide talent search for the next generation leaders in India. Reality TV has changed the world quite a lot in recent times - for the better or for worse. I do not want to comment on how I feel while switching channels between most reality shows on TV. But “Lead India” contest always reminds me of at least one example of media creating a huge positive impact. It created Ujjwal, the leader.

Ujjwal had the good sense to nominate himself. Leaders and non-leaders from all segments of the society participated in this contest. The contestants went through several rounds of interviews, debates and public voting. Ujjwal emerged as the youngest candidate among the eight finalists in the Lead India contest. When I saw his picture in the morning newspaper, my heart erupted with joy and pride. I feel socially obliged to express happiness at others success. But this was one occasion when I felt no external pressure to “feel” happy. Loving Ujjwal is so damn easy! I felt the “urge” to reconnect with Ujjwal after several years and he seemed almost embarrassed over the phone with his newly found fame. He enquired everything about my life he would have done on a normal regular conversation. Nothing changed. My respect for this man grew tenfold.

Ujjwal did not win the contest. His views about “socialism” and “quota system” did not resonate with what some of the judges wanted to hear on TV. Ujjwal expressed his original and innovative ideas on inclusive capitalism. This idealist demanded contra-vote bank ideology of absolute meritocracy at every level of the society. He believed socio-economic problems cannot be solved in isolation and education is the most powerful tool to fight against the most pressing problems in a complex nation like India.

One of the judges in the Lead India contest, Mr. Anupam Kher was a popular cine star . A social crusader himself, Mr Kher spotted Ujjwal’s talent and offered him the role to run his foundation that creates programs improving the capabilities of schools in areas of alternate pedagogy, teacher capacity and better classroom management practices. Ujjwal has to even plead to the parents in the slums to send their kids to school, everyday. The problem is compounded by age old confounding government policies and lack of good teacher training institutes. In recent times Government of India has taken some serious steps to change status quo. But there is still a long way to go.

The frenzy after the Lead India contest has died down. Ujjwal is back to real world and is currently fighting a lone battle. Providing mainstream education to under privileged children is a herculean task. Ujjwal needs support - beyond emotional support from friends. We can no longer express solidarity just by sending him an SMS vote. He needs our support with our ideas, time and money. We all need to stand by him, before he asks help. Even if he does not, we must, because this time if Ujjwal does not win, India loses.